This year has been one of many surprises.
It began with the completion of a rough draft accompanied by a somewhat drawn out revision process (don’t get me started). Then the news that we were going to be a family of six (the biggest and best surprise of all). And then finally, this summer when we realized that we might have to fly back to the US for new visas–making that two trips in one year.
And that brings us to today.
Tonight I’m getting on an airplane, however only half of me will be on the trip. Katie and I will be leaving India and heading to the US so I can prepare for the birth number 4 at the end of November. It’s strange, to say the least, leaving our other boys behind–the hubs, Jack and Ben. And for the past few days I have to stop myself from getting overwrought with emotion and focus on doing the next thing we know to do.
Because this is hard.
And I know there are going to be tough days and good days for us all. And my tendency is to want to have control of the situation– but I can’t have it, so I have to let go. So I’m praying for peace and doing the next thing even when I don’t understand everything that God is doing through our circumstances.
Thankfully, the boys will be joining us later in November. We pray I make it to my due date so they can be there. But who knows? There have been so many surprises so far, who’s to say we won’t have a few more in store.
So we press on. Not because we have everything figured out, but because we know there is a bigger plan we can’t see. And because we have come through so much already, we know there is something greater being worked out here and we can trust God has everything under his control.
Still. I have to force myself from moment-to-moment to cling to truth or I’m easily swept away by anxious thoughts. They come easily for me. It’s that whole control thing I struggle with constantly. My hope for this time apart is that I can have some serious bonding time with my daughter; finish these edits (need that off my back!); and give myself room to rest and breathe and time with people who love and care about me.
So the next thing is make it through the airport drop-off without a deluge of tears. We shall see.