This weekend I was able to get away from my normal routine (whatever that is now) and have a spiritual retreat with my dearest. We made a short jaunt up to The Cove (Billy Graham’s place) for some quiet (no tv, internet, kids, etc.) reflection time. It was great–we strolled along the trails, had some yummy food, and I was able to find a cozy spot and have some time to read, pray and wait (I’m getting pretty good at that part!).
I was surprised that being quiet had become something challenging and uncomfortable for me. It took part of the morning just to unwind–I have forgotten how to focus when I’m only focusing on one thing and not four or five at a time. I was also surprised at how long I had gone without spending time on the relationship I would say is my most important. And it’s not because I don’t know I’m supposed to, I just always seem to tell myself I’m too busy. Or the conditions are never just right.
But my tank was totally empty. I had been running on fumes. I’ve heard that these years with small children are some of the toughest a woman can face, and I believe it. So much being taken out and so little being put back in on a daily basis. It’s foolish to go so long without recalibrating my focus back onto the things that are the most important. But alas, I don’t always live up to my nickname “Wise One” given to me by my step-father.
I read through Deut. 30 and even though I had read it before, I was able to glean some things from it. And while I know the message was not necessarily meant for me, I think what he is telling Israel here, is applicable to me now. In this passage God wanted his people to choose life–to choose Him. It’s so simple, yet for me it is hard to be faithful.
So many times I haven’t chosen Him–sometimes it is a struggle to remain obedient and trusting in these quiet times of life when you feel forgotten and your life is totally on hold. None-the-less, I felt like there was something in that passage for me, for where I am right now, to choose life, to obey even when it’s hard and I’m not sure of the outcome. Which is pretty much where I am right about now.
And just a little tid-bit from our weekend that was interesting–Ruth Bell Graham had something very clever put on her gravestone. It said “End of Construction, Thank You for Your Patience.” How fantastic–true, yet very clever–I love it!