Right now I’m sitting at a desk in another strange room. Since mid-December I have called many places home–this week it’s Wheaton, Il. We have brought the Princess here with us and are having a great time getting to know our sanguine little girl. How fun it is to see her without her older brothers. She’s so laidback and loves to be with other kids. What a joy to have such a little sweetheart!
So here we are. We drove here, as we do everywhere, and found ourselves spending 18 hours to get somewhere that should have taken 11-12. The problem was the lovely snow that was falling in Atlanta. Usually I love snow. A snow day for a Georgia girl is one of the best things in the world. I remember times as a girl when snow was predicted for the next day and I could barely sleep that night–such was my excitement about the possibility of a day out of school and the rare opportunity to play in the powder. In Georgia it only takes about an inch of snow to close everything down. It’s a beautiful thing, most of the time. However, yesterday I was not as excited about the snow since I was not A) going to be home to enjoy it by a nice fire, and B) we had to drive through it to get to our destination.
There are times lately when I really struggle to be fully content with what is going on in my life right now. I know we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, but sometimes I find myself wishing things looked differently. Like yesterday, I wanted to be in my own cozy Lakewood-like home, sitting by a fire with my family. I wanted to know what the rest of the year would probably look like. I wanted to be with the people I’ve been doing life with. It’s strange to me to be back in the place where I grew up– I feel so foreign and disconnected. It has never been the place my heart wanted to be and I find it still isn’t. The bright spots of course are the family and wonderful friends we have there, but still when you are just passing through it’s hard to feel settled.
So these are training days. And the training is not just formal as in Colorado or Chicago, but every day, it seems lately. I’m learning the hard way how to keep my emotions from determining my happiness. How to make “home” wherever we are. And how to appreciate the little things from day to day.